is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
well you can't waste a boner
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
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