Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
