I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
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