I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize