My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
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