We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
Randomize
