Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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