Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Randomize
