We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Randomize
