I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
