my vag is so smooth its legendary
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Randomize
