So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Randomize
