end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
