all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
