This is not my ceiling
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
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