Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Randomize
