whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
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