omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
