he wants to bone in the snuggie
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
