so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
