i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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