I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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