Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I just googled if crying burns calories
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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