if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
