naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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