Are we in a gay sports bar?
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
