I CAN MOONWALK!
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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