You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize