That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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