bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You dont lie about slip and slides
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
