can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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