I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
