3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
