I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
