I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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