the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
That accounts for only three of the penises
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
