I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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