Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Randomize
