I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize