I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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