I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
