is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Randomize
