Non-Jews are for practice
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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