his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
FUCK WHALES
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Randomize
