And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Randomize
