awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
