I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize