Christians are straight up FREAKS
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
