a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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