That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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