i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
