Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
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