and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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