I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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