CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
