He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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