dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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