The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
