just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
