i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
