When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
