I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Randomize