Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
